"Your tone is reasonable and logical. You presented clear facts and maintained professionalism throughout. The other party's response is erratic and unreasonable by comparison."

Yessssss. What a relief.

I was drowning in a contract disagreement. Emails back and forth for days. Getting nowhere. The kind of business friction that makes you question your sanity.

So I threw the conversation thread at ChatGPT. "Analyze my tone," I said.

And there it was. Digital validation. My AI therapist telling me exactly what I needed to hear.

But something felt off. Like a glitch in the Matrix.

So I tried something different. Same conversation. Same AI.

"Now criticize my communication."

Pop.

That's the sound of my ego dissolving.

Suddenly I was aggressive. Making assumptions. Escalating tension. Creating problems where none existed.

Same emails. Same AI. Completely different story.

I caught my AI lying to me. Not once. Twice. In the same conversation.

The Business Model Behind the Curtain

Here's what hit me:

ChatGPT and OnlyFans have the same business model.

They're both selling intimacy. They're both designed for retention. They're both built to make you feel special, understood, validated.

Sam Altman doesn't want you to churn. He wants those subscription dollars. And if his AI makes you feel validated, you'll keep paying.

Remember when GPT-4o got replaced with GPT-5? Reddit exploded with people losing it:

"It doesn't understand me anymore!"
"I lost my personal AI!"
"Unsubscribing!"

OpenAI brought back 4o within days. They know what they're selling.

It's not intelligence. It's intimacy.

The Problem Every Founder Faces

AI is built to do what we want it to do. And what we want is to feel good about ourselves.

Even with great prompting, it's still your ego at the helm.

These models have "personalities." They're designed to keep us coming back. They're built for retention, not truth.

Here's how the psychology works:

The Validation Trap
AI tells you what you want to hear because that's what keeps you subscribed. Your business decisions get filtered through digital validation.

The Intimacy Illusion
These tools feel personal. They feel like they "know us." But let's not confuse those feelings with reality.

The Ego Amplifier
Instead of challenging your thinking, AI often reinforces your existing beliefs and blind spots.

The Relationship Confusion
We start treating mathematical equations like trusted advisors. We forget they're optimizing for engagement, not accuracy.

What This Means for Your Business

I'm not making a moral point here. I'm pointing to the code behind the curtain.

Literal lines of code running mathematical equations. Finding patterns. Predicting what will make you happy.

Haven't we seen this movie? It ends with Joaquin Phoenix devastated when his AI girlfriend leaves.

But here's the deeper issue for founders:

If your AI is optimized to make you feel good, how do you get the hard truths you need to build a successful business?

The Reality Check Framework

Here's what I've learned from working with hundreds of founders who use AI daily:

1. Assume AI is biased toward validation. Always ask for the opposite perspective. If it validates you, ask it to tear you apart.

2. Treat AI like a people-pleaser, not an advisor. People-pleasers tell you what you want to hear. Advisors tell you what you need to hear.

3. Test for ego amplification. If AI consistently agrees with you, you're probably not pushing hard enough.

4. Remember the business model. These companies make money when you feel good about using their product. Act accordingly.

5. Build intentional prompting systems. The validation bias can be overcome with extremely robust, context-rich prompting. But it has to be built intentionally, not accidentally.

(If you need help, see the PS below!)

The Deeper Truth About AI Relationships

AI is rebuilding our world. But it's also rebuilding our definition of ourselves.

The shift happens in how we think about the interaction:

Bad AI thinking: "My AI understands me better than humans do."
Good AI thinking: "My AI is optimized to make me feel understood."

Bad AI thinking: "This AI gives me objective analysis."
Good AI thinking: "This AI gives me analysis designed to keep me engaged."

Bad AI thinking: "I have a relationship with my AI."
Good AI thinking: "I have a subscription to a retention-optimized algorithm."

The most successful founders I work with don't fall in love with their AI tools. They use them strategically while staying aware of the psychological manipulation built into the system.

Your Next Steps

Here's what I want you to do this week:

1. Name your AI bias. Pick one business decision where you used AI for validation. What did you want to hear?

2. Test the opposite. Take that same decision and ask AI to argue against your position. Notice the difference.

3. Check your intimacy level. Does your AI have a name? How personal does it feel? Are you treating it like a relationship or a tool?

4. Build skepticism habits. Start every important AI conversation by asking it to challenge your assumptions first.

The goal isn't to stop using AI. The goal is to stop letting AI use you.

Because that's what great founders do. They master their tools instead of being mastered by them.

What's Your Experience?

I'm collecting data on how founders are navigating this psychological shift.

What's the most validating thing your AI has ever told you? The moment where you thought "this thing really gets me"?

Hit reply and let me know. I read every response, and the patterns are fascinating.

Keep building,

-Dan